What's the word?

Well the word is I haven't been on in a while to write and here's why.....


Some jobs I had recently applied for fell through, and that was hard for me to come to terms with.  Every time I get turned down for or from a job interview, I always get discouraged and feel like things will never change for me.  But I know that is not true, and my friends and family helped me refocus on that fact and move forward.  


The next thing that happened was that my father lost his job about 3 weeks ago.  That was scary, but it appears he will be okay (thanks to savings and social security) but he wants to work for a few more years anyway.  He has so many skills and such a great work record, that I'm sure he find something soon.


As if that wasn't enough, it came to pass about 2 weeks ago that my mother thought she might be losing her job. I thought that couldn't possibly happen since she had been working for nearly 4 years at the child development center she worked at.  Her parents loved her. NAEYC and ECERS were ALWAYS taken to her room when they came for visits and her work record was implacable.  She came in early, stayed late and often didn't get lunch, nor did she complain.  Well wouldn't you know it. All that hard work, time, dedication and care didn't account for anything apparently.  She lost her job this past Friday.


My husband, as many of you know, is still unemployed.  NASA all but "shutting down" didn't exactly help all the already unemployed people in his field.


At this moment.....I am the only one in my family who has a job.  And yet the student loan people who call me at 6am.....all the way until 10pm tell me they are "so sorry for my situation, but they have no more deferment or forbearance options"....despite the fact that my income places my husband and myself BELOW the poverty level.  


So.....needless to say my blog, which I love writing on, has not been the first thing on my mind as of late.  Yet, I promise you I am not here to complain or get a "pity party."  I just need to get all these worries and troubles off my chest and out of my hands and into this post.  


I can't help but feel, despite this scary place we are at right now, that God has something wonderful in store for us.  He knows all. He is great!  God has blessed me with a job when I could have none.  He has blessed me with my health.  He has blessed me with my wonderful, loving husband.  He has blessed me with dear true life-long friends and "soul sisters" who make bearing these burdens possible.  He has blessed me with my faith.  I will keep that faith and trust in Him to take care of what I cannot and to trust that I can handle what He gives me.  


Someone I work with is celebrating 15 years of being in remission from breast cancer.  I need to stop and remember that when everything seems hopeless, it could be a LOT worse.


This economy has made things hard for many people.  I have been lucky that my family has been overall, unaffected, until this month.  Things will get better again.  Things will be BETTER than before...  :D

Too distracted to make sense...

So, it appears I  haven't posted since the 17th, but I thought it was longer than that so I don't feel too "guilty"....for lack of a better word.

At any rate, I was sitting down with some of my saved Trust30 challenge prompts, but I just couldn't really wrap my mind around ANY of them tonight!  This day was pretty unproductive and I'm mad at myself for not getting more accomplished.  I didn't really have any set projects or chores that HAD to be completed, but I got up late, ran an errand to the grocery store, came back home and feel asleep until 5pm.  Guess I needed the rest, but it just feels like a waste of a Sunday to me. Oh well.

On a positive note, I had a job interview last week and I have another one coming up tomorrow after work.  The job I interviewed for last week was a fantastic fit for me.  It's an early interventionist position (E/I for all your Special Ed. folks out there) with a children's home.  Part of what they do is provide services to low income families and their children in the Columbia area for children ages birth to 5.  The director was AMAZING and the work I would be doing would allow me to really utilize my education, skills and talents.  The interview went well and some follow up that occurred after it gave me a positive indication that I could very well get this position.  I'm hoping to know something tomorrow.  I was very blessed to have one of my best friends Caitlin Merck, my second mother, Karen Zimmerman, and my co-worker, Aleta McKinney to write references for me which they all emailed in the same day I had the interview.  I'm very blessed indeed! <3

The job interview tomorrow I think is going to be a little more intense, and the position itself does not pay much compared to the job I applied for last week.  However, either job would be a blessing as the pay would be increased and my stress level, decreased.  

I am ready to move on from my current job, primarily because I do not feel appreciated at all where I am.  I'm not saying I need a pat on the back every 5 minutes but it is nice to be at least validated on occasion and not just berated for some tiny thing that your boss simply didn't like because she was in a mood that day.  

I recently received a compliment from boss about how well I was monitoring my class of 3 year olds on the playground.  I really didn't know how to respond to her and it occurred to me that this was the first compliment/validation I had received from her the ENTIRE time I have worked there, which has been 1.5 years!  Ridiculous.  So while I have been extremely grateful to have this job during such a hard time in our economy, and while I have loved working with some wonderful children and fellow teachers.....all the other factors weigh more and I am truly hoping this new job that I am waiting to hear back from is it......my ticket out of this current job that beats me down and makes me question my self worth on a regular basis.  I'm ready to work somewhere that I feel a sense of accomplishment each day and where at least sometimes, I am told "well done." 

Wish me luck! I will certainly be letting you know if I get the job.  

Hopefully tomorrow I will have some more words to share.

Thanks for reading!