Too distracted to make sense...

So, it appears I  haven't posted since the 17th, but I thought it was longer than that so I don't feel too "guilty"....for lack of a better word.

At any rate, I was sitting down with some of my saved Trust30 challenge prompts, but I just couldn't really wrap my mind around ANY of them tonight!  This day was pretty unproductive and I'm mad at myself for not getting more accomplished.  I didn't really have any set projects or chores that HAD to be completed, but I got up late, ran an errand to the grocery store, came back home and feel asleep until 5pm.  Guess I needed the rest, but it just feels like a waste of a Sunday to me. Oh well.

On a positive note, I had a job interview last week and I have another one coming up tomorrow after work.  The job I interviewed for last week was a fantastic fit for me.  It's an early interventionist position (E/I for all your Special Ed. folks out there) with a children's home.  Part of what they do is provide services to low income families and their children in the Columbia area for children ages birth to 5.  The director was AMAZING and the work I would be doing would allow me to really utilize my education, skills and talents.  The interview went well and some follow up that occurred after it gave me a positive indication that I could very well get this position.  I'm hoping to know something tomorrow.  I was very blessed to have one of my best friends Caitlin Merck, my second mother, Karen Zimmerman, and my co-worker, Aleta McKinney to write references for me which they all emailed in the same day I had the interview.  I'm very blessed indeed! <3

The job interview tomorrow I think is going to be a little more intense, and the position itself does not pay much compared to the job I applied for last week.  However, either job would be a blessing as the pay would be increased and my stress level, decreased.  

I am ready to move on from my current job, primarily because I do not feel appreciated at all where I am.  I'm not saying I need a pat on the back every 5 minutes but it is nice to be at least validated on occasion and not just berated for some tiny thing that your boss simply didn't like because she was in a mood that day.  

I recently received a compliment from boss about how well I was monitoring my class of 3 year olds on the playground.  I really didn't know how to respond to her and it occurred to me that this was the first compliment/validation I had received from her the ENTIRE time I have worked there, which has been 1.5 years!  Ridiculous.  So while I have been extremely grateful to have this job during such a hard time in our economy, and while I have loved working with some wonderful children and fellow teachers.....all the other factors weigh more and I am truly hoping this new job that I am waiting to hear back from is it......my ticket out of this current job that beats me down and makes me question my self worth on a regular basis.  I'm ready to work somewhere that I feel a sense of accomplishment each day and where at least sometimes, I am told "well done." 

Wish me luck! I will certainly be letting you know if I get the job.  

Hopefully tomorrow I will have some more words to share.

Thanks for reading!

The "man" in the mirror

Trying to catch up on some blogging from the past few weeks.  Probably will put up more than one post today.  For those of you who read these wanderings in thought.....enjoy. 

Trust30 challenge prompt:
I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

5 years from now I would not still want to be working at a daycare center, biding my time, and getting so caught up in the routine of working there that I NEVER bothered to doggedly purse a position befitting my experience and credentials.  There are some wonderful women who have been working at this daycare for 5 or more years now and they have become bitter and mixed up in all kinds of crazy drama.  I don't want to end up being one of them.  Frankly, it scares the heck out of me to think that I've been there for OVER a year now.


So here's my recipe for not ending up bitter and caught up in the hamster wheel, if you will, of that place:


5 cups of determination
3 cups of belief (in myself, God, and those who love me and who will help me on my path)
2 cups stick-to-it-ive-ness (hehe)
a large pinch of will power
1 cup of minding my own business (and not being sucked into other's) 
3/4 cup "go with the flow"
1 tbs of laughter (at myself and other....not in a mean way of course)
a dash of humility
a few sprinklings of confidence (but not cockiness)


Mix together gently until well combined.  Place in a sunny window to proof and to PROVE to myself that I can get out of the situation I'm in.  Then bake in a warm oven of support from those around me.  Finish by topping of with a sprinkle of excitement, to get me up and running on my path to success and to being happy and fulfilled with where I am, 5 years from now.


On a small side note......
Oh my GOD! I will be 31 in five years! YIKES!  Let's not get thinking about that just yet....


one thing at a time....

Ordinary is Extraordinary

Finally back to the #trust30 challenge!  Feels good to get back to the blog! :)  Here goes...

"Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

My False Comparisons: I still find myself comparing my looks to others.  I've honestly never really thought of myself as beautiful, even though now I have a husband who tells me how beautiful I am each day.  I guess it's a woman thing, or maybe some lingering immaturity from my teenage years, but I still can't help when I see a friends  pic on facebook and they are looking really pretty to not hear that little voice inside say to me, "you don't look that good, you never have."  It's really strange to me, because I'm old enough and mature enough to know better- to know that looks don't matter- it's the inside that does, but that's still how I feel nonetheless.  Even when I look at some of my wedding pictures, I'm extremely critical of myself and don't think I look stunning in many of them (and I feel I should look "stunning" since it was my wedding day.)  To be honest, my photographer was AMAZING and I love each and everyone of my over 600 wedding pictures and my conscious mind knows I look KILLER in all of them,  but it's still that damn little voice in my head telling me "nope, still not good enough."  It's something I really need to get over and gain some confidence in.  I used to be really shy when I was younger, and I've gotten over most of that, but I still will find myself hanging back in a crowd and I have to MAKE myself "get in there".....part of that probably came/comes from the insecurity of my looks.  Guess I need to get a little egotistical and start telling myself how "hot" I look each day as a mantra or something.  Hahaha!

My False Expectations: These come in for me in terms of various ideas or "businesses" I've wanted to start at various points in my life.  I wanted to start a "biz" making hand-drawn pins when I was about 13-14.  I made some really awesome ones for a family reunion and got paid for it, but that's kinda where that ended.  When I was about 18 I really got interested in jewelry making and became quite skilled at the craft.  I bought all the tools and supplies and sold my creations at several luncheons for women lawyers (particularly at the holidays) and made a very good profit each time.  I have started writing several books over there years, but never really made any headway with any of them.  See a pattern?  I do! Something in my head always doubts that I can make any of these things succeed and flourish enough to be a "career"...which was my goal (deep down) behind all of these.  This is part of the reason I am being so hard on myself about blogging EVERYDAY!  I want to finally stick with something and see it through for a looooooong time.  

My False Investments:  I'm not really sure what these are for me, but I think they link fairly closely with my "false expectations."  But writing this post I am seeing I need to keep pursing things I want and love to do, even at the risk of these idea every getting big, or making me uber successful.  What matters is that I do what I love and that I love what I do.  If I stay true to that motto, I will go far.

Randomness Extreme

So as I was trying to collect myself and catch up with my blogging and email and yadda yadda yadda....

I stumbled upon this video on the yahoo home page for the CUTEST and easiest nail "art".....even I could do it and I think I might just got try it out riiiiiiiight now!

Hope everyone is having a great SATURDAY! I just saw Harry Potter 7 pt. 2, so I know i am! 

Smoke gets in your eyes...life gets in the way

As you might know, my husband, Vinnie, and I have a pet-sitting business...and a pretty successful one at that.  So suffice it to say that when I just logged into my blog and saw I hadn't posted since June 25th, I wasn't entirely surprised.  Between the 4th of July holiday weekend festivities and all the pet-sitting we had during that time, I haven't had a chance to do much of anything for myself, including writing.

But now that the smoke has cleared the air from all the fireworks, and most of our pet-sitting clients are back home, I'm getting things back in order around our house, and in my life.

So tonight's plan?  Quick library run, two pet-sitting stops, and home to get something to drink and then my fingers back around the keyboard.   

I have a habit of starting projects like my blog, and then letting things get in the way of my continuation of them.  I vowed not to let that happen this time with my aimless-in-wander blog.  So I have renewing my promise to myself right now.  Tonight I will go home and before I do ANYTHING (eat dinner, turn the tv on, change into my pajama's) I WILL write on my blog!!!

CHEERS!