Ordinary is Extraordinary

Finally back to the #trust30 challenge!  Feels good to get back to the blog! :)  Here goes...

"Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NYTimes best seller list or not write at all), and false investments (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

My False Comparisons: I still find myself comparing my looks to others.  I've honestly never really thought of myself as beautiful, even though now I have a husband who tells me how beautiful I am each day.  I guess it's a woman thing, or maybe some lingering immaturity from my teenage years, but I still can't help when I see a friends  pic on facebook and they are looking really pretty to not hear that little voice inside say to me, "you don't look that good, you never have."  It's really strange to me, because I'm old enough and mature enough to know better- to know that looks don't matter- it's the inside that does, but that's still how I feel nonetheless.  Even when I look at some of my wedding pictures, I'm extremely critical of myself and don't think I look stunning in many of them (and I feel I should look "stunning" since it was my wedding day.)  To be honest, my photographer was AMAZING and I love each and everyone of my over 600 wedding pictures and my conscious mind knows I look KILLER in all of them,  but it's still that damn little voice in my head telling me "nope, still not good enough."  It's something I really need to get over and gain some confidence in.  I used to be really shy when I was younger, and I've gotten over most of that, but I still will find myself hanging back in a crowd and I have to MAKE myself "get in there".....part of that probably came/comes from the insecurity of my looks.  Guess I need to get a little egotistical and start telling myself how "hot" I look each day as a mantra or something.  Hahaha!

My False Expectations: These come in for me in terms of various ideas or "businesses" I've wanted to start at various points in my life.  I wanted to start a "biz" making hand-drawn pins when I was about 13-14.  I made some really awesome ones for a family reunion and got paid for it, but that's kinda where that ended.  When I was about 18 I really got interested in jewelry making and became quite skilled at the craft.  I bought all the tools and supplies and sold my creations at several luncheons for women lawyers (particularly at the holidays) and made a very good profit each time.  I have started writing several books over there years, but never really made any headway with any of them.  See a pattern?  I do! Something in my head always doubts that I can make any of these things succeed and flourish enough to be a "career"...which was my goal (deep down) behind all of these.  This is part of the reason I am being so hard on myself about blogging EVERYDAY!  I want to finally stick with something and see it through for a looooooong time.  

My False Investments:  I'm not really sure what these are for me, but I think they link fairly closely with my "false expectations."  But writing this post I am seeing I need to keep pursing things I want and love to do, even at the risk of these idea every getting big, or making me uber successful.  What matters is that I do what I love and that I love what I do.  If I stay true to that motto, I will go far.