So, lately I have been finding myself saying certain things over and over to my class of 3 year olds. Things that are obvious facts, but yet seem to elude them for some reason. If you work with kids, you know very well that nagging them to death by saying "don't do this" or "don't do that" doesn't get you very far and they begin to tune you out after they hear you say "stop hitting your friends" for the umpteenth time.
Therefore, I have started speaking to them about certain things by making simple statements such as "shoes are not toys" when they put their shoes on and off and on and off and ON AND OFF AND OOOOON AND OOOOFF for the millionth time that day. If you are teacher, the following list of things I say EVERYDAY (at least twice a day) will probably not surprise you......but if you don't work with kids, your jaw might just hit the keyboard. At the very least, everyone should get a laugh out of reading the following...gotta laugh to make it through the day after all...
1) Things that are not FOOD: Clothes are not food....you are not a goat. Scissors are not food.....are you TRYING to hurt yourself! Plastic hammers are not food....your teeth are not nails, therefore, there is no reason to put that in your mouth. Shoelaces are not food...put them in your mouth again and I will take your laces...and your shoes. Your blanket is not food....we just had lunch, you shouldn't be hungry and AGAIN, you are not a goat.
2) Things that are not TOYS: The edge you tore off the bag of your goldfish crackers is not a toy....please don't blow it across the table onto your friends- throw it in the trash where it won't get you in trouble. Nap cots are not toys....don't you remember last week when you jumped on it like that and you got a bruise the size of an orange when you fell? Hmmmm??? Don't cha?! The water cooler is not a toy....if you push the button on it just to watch the water flow like a waterfall, you are still going to have to clean it up and you are not going to get any water to drink. Woodchips (on the playground) are not toys.....getting splinters isn't very much fun for you, or for me when I have to remove them and you won't hold still and just keep wiggling around like a worm.
3) Things that are not HATS: Library books are not hats....your hair does not have eyes. Your lunch plate is not a hat.....last time I checked, macaroni and cheese sauce wasn't shampoo. Cups are not hats...no, I'm not really sorry your hair is wet...it was about 5 drops of milk, it will dry...you made the choice to put in on your head...there are consequences for your actions.
What can I say....I tell it like it is, and in return, I get a whole bunch of silly turkeys that make me crazy and make me happy all at the same time. And sometimes, I even get something really special in return for all my zaniness, like today's "Profound Preschool" quote of the day.. From "Alvin" age 3....after I got through explaining that our smile was the shape of a crescent, and I told everyone to show me a "smiley face"..."Alvin" said..."Mrs. Jessica....smiley faces, well, they just don't have hands...(pregnant and thoughtful pause).....or knees..." ***Mrs. Jessica laughing out loud and almost ROFL - FOR REAL***
Moments like that make it all worth while.
Peace out from the preschool teacher who is TRYING to be like Mary Poppins....practically perfect in every way. <3
I had a little boy this summer who, because he had been told not to eat certain things so much when he was younger would say over and over "We do not eat _____." It was always the most random things. We do not eat bears, right Mrs. Stephanie? We do not eat rocks.
ReplyDeleteOh, the life of teaching!